Epona's Story
by nagami cabasa
Summary: Have you, yes, YOU, ever wondered what Epona thought and did when Link was gone? I've got ALL the info here! Oh and by the way... ANOTHER CHAPTER UP! ::*On Semi-Hiatus Forever! Look at the note inside to see why!*::
1. Where am I?

Disclaimer: I... umm... *shrug* N-o. That spells no.  
  
Oh greeat, another one of my STUPID fanfics. You all wanna get outta here now, huh? *sees reader move the mouse button* AH AH AH!! NO YOU DON'T!! *grabs hand and puts it in a plastic bag o.O* Hehe. Now that you've gone here, THERE'S NO ESCAPE!! MWAHAHAHEHEHAHAHEHAHA!! *cough cough wheeze hack* *ahem*   
  
Things you need to know:  
1.) This fic will MOSTLY be in Epona's point of view, okay?   
2.) The setting is in Majora's Mask.  
3.) Umm, if you wanna flame, go right ahead. I'll give it to Ruto.  
4.) Just because the animals are talking to eachother doesn't mean that the humans can understand. Humans don't understand animal launguage.  
  
Anyway, on with my completely pointless fic:  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
I was walking around in the forest, with Link on my back. We just rode out of Hyrule, and are now in this umm... forest. Woah, this place is creeping me out... it's too quiet... toooooo quiiieeet. I then stopped walking, allowing Link to look around this creepy place. I then saw a fairy, no, two fairies. Hey, they're coming this way... OUCH!! The stupid fairies hit my head!! Why I outta... hey, I just realized that Link fell off me!! Oopsies.  
  
"Oww..."  
  
Then there was an awkward silence. I think Link's unconcious. Hey, wuzzat? It looks like skull kid... how do I know it's skull kid, you ask? I dunno, I just... know, and he's wearing this weird mask too. What is he doing? Stealing Link's valuables? ... that's Link's ocarina!! Oh well. What can I do? I sighed and watched on as the Skull Kid and the two fairies played with the gift that Zelda gave to Link. Skull Kid put his mouth to the mouthpiece and blew. Oh, how unsanitary!!   
  
"Oooh, cool, don't you think, Tael?" Skull Kid giggled and blew some more.   
  
"Yeah! Hey, can I try it?" Tael, the purple fairy, asked excitedly.  
  
"No way, Tael!! What if you break it?" Tatl, the white fairy said.  
  
The Skull Kid giggled some more. He giggles weirdly. Weirdly... is that even a word? Ahh who cares. Then I saw Link get up. OH GODDESSES, HE'S ALIVE! COOLY OOLY STUFF! I wish I could communicate with humans. Link tried to leap on the Skull Kid but- hey, where is he? AHHHHHH!!! HE'S ON MY BACK!! GAAAAAAAHHH!! GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!! HELP MEEEE!! Ok, that's it!! I'm gonna run!! Ha ha ha ha ha... I'm tired!! Wha?   
  
Link's on my leg!   
  
I reared up again and tried to get Skull Kid off but he wouldn't budge! I turned a corner and saw Link being thrown off me. Oh great, now I'm stuck with skull guy person here!! I started running again and fell through a hole in the ground. And I landed on the floor with a "thud" Oww, my poor horse muscles...  
  
"You're such a stupid horse! You don't listen to anything I say!" Skull Kid screamed. God, he sounded like a girl. Wait, is he a girl!?  
  
"I must get rid of you SOMEHOW before Link gets here."  
  
I think not! I ran towards him and reared up, kicking my hooves. There was a special force field around him and I couldn't get to hurt that stupid little imp. ARGH!! Stupid little- "What should we do with him, Skull Kid?" Tatl, the annoyingly stupid fairy, who interupted my thoughts, asked.  
  
"Tatl, it's a HER, Not a him! Anyway, I think we should just let HER go for a while. I mean, what could SHE do?" Tael suggested, while looking at Tatl.  
  
"All right, I get the point!" screamed Tatl.  
  
Skull Kid scratched his head and thought about it. "Yes, that seems okay, I guess. But only for three days."   
  
Woo hoo!! I'm going to be freeeee!! ... THREE DAYS ONLY?!?! AWWWWWW!! ... oh crap, what about Link? Then, I saw a blinding flash and suddenly, I'm in a big field! Oooh, cool. There's so many plants... why is that place over the full of sand? I better check this place out. First, I went to a big tree, where there was an incredibly poorly drawn picture of Skull Kid, I think. It's so ugly, that I don't know what it is! I wonder what's in here.   
  
I walked past the tree and it's drawing and found another tree, which was surrounded by bats. Ooooh, looky!! There's a heart in there!! I hope Link gets it. So, I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm walking... umm... what the hell?!   
  
I stared up at the small man who was wearing all green, up in the air with a red ballon in his backpack. He reminds me of Link... except he's old. He's REALLY OLD!! I mean, older that Link. He looks about, what, 40? O_o;;; Why the hell would a grown man wear kokirish clothing?! I'm gonna ask that bat over there.  
"Hey, you! You, the black bat over there!!", I neighed to them. "Which one?", asked one of the bats. "You! The one who's talking to me right now." "Oh, okay!", it screeched. Then it flew over to me and I realized that it was a bad bat, the kind that attacks you.  
  
"AHHHH!! A BAD BAT!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!"  
  
"I'm not THAT bad!!" the tiny animal said. "I only attack humans."  
  
"Then, how come in Hyrule, they attack animals, too?"  
  
"Well, that's in Hyrule."  
  
"Good point. Wait, that's Hyrule? Then, where is this?"  
  
"This is Termina."  
  
"Umm, okay."  
  
"So, what do you need?"  
  
"Oh yeah. Who is that guy? Over there." I made a gesture by moving my head to the direction of where the wannabe Kokiri was.  
  
"Him? He's Tingle. That's all I know about him. Everytime there's people who go through here, he says, 'Hello! I'm Tingle!' and then does a freaky dance."  
  
"o_O Uhh, okaaay... do you think that you could pop his ballon so I can talk to him?"  
  
"I don't know what you mean by talking, but... sure. I'll pop that ballon of his."  
  
I saw the small black bat fly over to 'Tingle's ballon and take a bit out of it. The wannabe screamed and fell to the ground, landing on his feet. Aww, that sucks. I casually walked up to him and nudged him. He looked at me- AHHH!! SCARY PERSON!! Okay, calm down, Epona, calm down. I sighed as he gasped. "Oh my! A cute little horsie!" Tingle squeaked out. What is he doing? GAH!! HE'S ON MY BACK!! I reared up again and Tingle fell to the ground easily. Man, he is much easier than that skull guy.  
  
"Aww, it doesn't like me. ;_; Oh well. Let me introduce myself! I am Tingle, a forest fairy! Although I am already 35 years old, no fairy has come to me yet. My father tells me to grow up, but I musn't give up my hopes! Tingle, Tingle, Kaloo-Limpah!! Those are the reincarnation words of a fairy! DON'T STEAL THEM!!"   
I was wrong. He's younger than 40, but he looks like a 60 year old with all those wrinkles. I sweatdropped and watched as the little man went up into the sky again with a brand new ballon. As I trotted over back to the entrance, the black bat flew in front of me and I stopped. "Hey, so what did he say?" the tiny creature asked me.   
  
"He said that he was a forest fairy, that he was 35, his dad is still alive, he believes that he's a Kokiri, and that he wants a fairy."  
  
"That guy has problems..." although this bat was so small, I could still see him shake his head.  
  
"Tell me about it. Hey, I never got your name."  
  
"It's Jack. What's yours?"  
  
"Epona."  
  
"Well, nice meeting you, Epona! See you next time."  
  
Jack flew back to the tree and I feel as if I made a new friend!! Hee hee!! Cool, my first friend in the land of... hey, what's this place's name again? Oh yeah, Termina. As I exited, I looked to my left and saw another entrance to another place!! Oooh, yay! I walked up to the sign and sighed. Wow, I've been sighing a lot today... I wish I could read english writing. I decided to enter that place anyway.   
  
Once I got in, the words, "Milk Road" were on the walls of the new place that I have just entered. Do you know how I knew? The only letters that I know from the english alphabet is m, i, l, k, r, o, a, and d. I turned left at the entrance and entered another part of this 'Termina'. There were 2 people there... who looked EXACTLY like Ingo! I shuddered at the thought of that horrid man and left that place before they saw me. Eww, Ingo... AHH!! HORRID NAME!!  
  
I started to canter and I accidentally bumped into the wall. I fell down on one of the grass patches and they started to move. AHHH!! IT'S ALIVE!! THE GRASS IS ALIVE!! OH MY GODDESSES!! SOMEONE HELP ME!! I cautiously backed away from the moving grass patches and started hyperventilating.  
  
"Calm down, Epona, it's okaaay..."  
  
Suddenly, a small yellow creature popped out of the ground.  
  
I started to panic and screamed, "O_O AHHHHHHHHH!! PIKACHU!! AWAY, CUR-SED CREATURE!! AWAY!!"   
  
"I'M NOT A PIKACHU!!"  
  
"Then, what are you?"  
  
"I'm a keaton."  
  
You've got to admit, if you did see Keaton for the first time, you'd swear that it was Pikachu. The resemblance is disturbing...  
  
"Well, you look like Pikachu." I continued.  
  
"What, do you see me screaming, "PIKACHU!! CHU!! PIKA!!" and shooting thunderbolts everywhere?"  
  
"... oh yeah"  
  
"My name is Korana."  
  
"YOU'RE A GIRL?!"  
  
"Umm... duh."  
  
"... cool! My name is Epona. Hey, why are you just randomly coming out of moving grass patches?"  
  
Korana shrugged. "I dunno, it's fun!!"  
  
"Well, nice meeting you! Maybe I'll see you later, alright?"  
  
"Okay, bye!"  
  
So, I trotted out of Milk Road and now, I feel as if I had made ANOTHER new friend!! Woo hoo!! Good for little ol' me! Yay... anyway, so I trotted out of the road. Where should I go next? I think I should check out that place with all the sand and stuff. I started walking to that area when I realized something about the land. Wanna know what I realized?   
  
WELL, I'M NOT TELLING!   
  
Nah, I'll tell. Okay, everytime I cross a new area, the ground changes. Like, on one side, it's totally green, and on the other side, it's all sand. You people don't care about that stuff, so I'm gonna do something now. I jumped across the high fence and saw this place with a beautiful beach. The waters looked murky, though. Ewwww... there's nothing here.   
  
How boring.   
  
~*With Link*~  
  
(In Link's POV)  
  
"Grrr... of ALL things, why do I have to be a Deku?!" I asked myself aloud. "And why do I have to look for a piece of a stupid fairy?!"  
  
"Hey! Don't say the Great Fairy's name in vain!" Tatl shouted and bonked me on the head.  
  
"Oww!! Stop hitting me, it's not helping!!"  
  
"Well, I'd stop only if you would stop saying bad things about the Great Fairy!"  
  
I sighed and started off for East Clock Town, with Tatl following close behind. This was going to be a looong 3 days...  
  
~*With Epona*~  
  
(Back in Epona's POV)  
  
Now what do I do? Blaaah... why don't I sing a song? Actually, I'll get outta this place, since there's nothing here anyway. I jumped the fence again and made my way towards the place with all the tall pillars and stuff... O_o Why is there a small rat with a bomb on the edge of it's tail?!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sorry if it wasn't really good because I'm trying to write what Epona is really thinking. It's not like she would use fancy words like, controversial, persuasive, interaction, and other stuff like that. So... that sucked. WHY ON EARTH DID I EVER WRITE THIS?!?! GAAAAAHHH!! Tell you what, if I get 10 flames, from different people of course, then I'll take this down. *sigh* Please R+R and tell me what you really think of this fic...  
  
~LilFilipinoGurl 


	2. More new friends!!

Disclaimer: Yes, no, maybe so, I dunno!!  
  
Oh my dear lordy!! You ACTUALLY liked it!!! O_o How is that possible? Well, since I got some reviews, I'll continue this!! Okay, here we go!!  
  
Things you need to know:  
1.) This fic will MOSTLY be in Epona's point of view, okay?   
2.) The setting is in Majora's Mask.  
3.) Umm, if you wanna flame, go right ahead. I'll give it to *shudder* Ruto.  
4.) Just because the animals are talking to eachother doesn't mean that the humans can understand. Humans don't understand animal language.  
  
Just reminding you...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
"Hey!! You!! Come here!!" I shouted to the small rat with a bomb on it's tail.  
  
"Who, me?" it asked, with it's highly annoying voice.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay!"  
  
It started to run towards me, with a scary look on it's face. Actually, it ALWAYS had a scary look on it's face. Ooooh, creeepy. "So, little thingy, what's your name?" I asked as sweetly as I could, although it was hard to say something in a sweet manner to a rat with a deadly weapon attached to it.  
  
"My name? Oh, it's Kokohakiwadalamina!!" it shouted gleefully.  
  
O_o Now, how am I supposed to remember and say that? "Umm, why don't I call you... Koko instead?"   
  
"Sure!!" I don't know why, but it was extremely happy.   
  
"Why are you extremely happy?"   
  
"Well, it's because I'm gonna explode ANY SECOND NOW!!"   
  
"WHAT?!?!"   
  
I practically panicked. Then, the bomb start to glow pink and red. I galloped as fast as I can away from Koko and there was an explosion. Ahh, my poor ears!!! I wonder if Koko is okay... but I don't think he is... I might as well check. I trotted over to where the explosion was and scanned the area. Then, right before my eyes, Koko just appeared out of nowhere!! "Hi! Remember me? I never got your name!! What's your name?!" Koko asked excitedly. "But... how?" I stuttered.  
  
"Oh, being revived? I explode every 15 minutes and then I get to live again!!!"  
  
"O_o;;; Now THAT'S strange..."  
  
"So what's your name?"  
  
"My name is Epona."  
  
"Oooh, you gots a pretty name!!"  
  
"Thanks, I guess. Hey, can I ask you a question?"  
  
"Shoot!"  
  
"Okay. Where does that path lead to?" I asked curiously, nodding my head towards the path with real bombchus in every corner.  
  
"There? It leads to the graveyard and Stone Tower!!"  
  
"Thank you!! Oops, 15 minutes are almost up!! Bye, see ya around uhh... oh yeah, Termina!!"  
  
"Right!! Bye!!", and with that, the little bombchu exploded. It must be a hard life to be exploding every 15 minutes. I wonder if it hurts? Oh well, I'll never find out, unless I'm a bombchu. I trotted in the way of the path and it lead me to MORE bombchus, each screaming "Kikikikoo!! Kikikikoo!!" Oh, how ANNOYING!! I looked towards the sky and realized that it was already night!! How can I not notice these things?!   
  
The bombchus ran off somewhere and I was completely alone. No one heeere... all alooone... in the dark... AHHHH!!! I cantered towards the gate, jumped it and jumped the other fences that were in the way of my running. In my attempt to escape the darkness, I entered a graveyard. Oh greeeat, a GRAVEyard, with stalchildren- STALCHILDREN?!?! AHHHHH!!! Oh wait, they won't hurt me... they only hurt Link... hey, what ever happened to Link?  
  
~*With Link and Tatl*~  
  
(Link's POV)  
  
"C'mon!! Let me out!!" I shouted at the gaurd. Tatl just slapped her forehead and shook her head.  
  
"Sorry, scrub, but you are way too young to go out into the feilds, especially when it's night!" the gaurd said.  
  
"Fine!! I'll prove to you that I can protect myself!!" I started to blow up a snot bubble. What a weird attack, an attack coming out of my nose? Eww... how do Dekus live like this?! Yeah so, I charged up my snot bubble and shot one at the gaurd.  
  
"Eww!! Deku, go back to your mommy and stop bothering me!!", the gaurd said to me.  
  
Fine. I'll do what he says. Just once. I gladly walked away from the gaurd with Tatl following me. Ooooh, once I get my sword, that gaurd is GROUND BEEF!!  
  
"Oh yeah, like SNOT will kill your enemies?" Tatl annoyingly informed me.  
  
"At LEAST I have an attack, not like you who just flies around my head not even HELPING me!!" I screamed. Man, and I thought no one could be as worse as Navi... actually, Navi was better because she didn't have a STUPID bell that rings EVERY FRIGGIN' MINUTE!!  
  
(No one's POV)  
  
WELL!! Link sure has a temper... hehe... it's me!! The author!! Okay, so just continue reading the story.  
  
~*With Epona*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
I hope Link is okay... I'm gonna go hang out with the skeleton people!! I mean, what could they do to me? I walked towards the fire and all the stalchildren looked at me with those freaky red eyes.  
  
"Umm, hi?"  
  
"WHO ARE YOU?!?!", one of the stalchildren practically threatened me. "Hey! I won't do anything! Can I just hang out?" I asked sweetly, again. "NO!!" all three of the skeletion kids screamed at me. I walked away from them. Damn, how crabby can they get? All I wanted to do was just hang out until morning, and they threaten me!! How rude... I continued walking until another stalkid jumped down from the tree.  
  
"AHHH!!" I neighed. "Hi! My name is Petua. What's yours?" a loud, but friendly male voice came from it. "U-umm... my name is Epona. Do you know where I can stay for the night? I'm afraid to travel around here while the dead thingies try to get me." "Okay, follow me." Petua led me to a tree near by and told me to sit down. Since I'm a horse, I just lied down on the grass. "Are you sure it's safe here?" I asked uncomfortably.  
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Okay, if you say so. Hey why are you nicer than the others?" I asked. I have so many questions about this world. "Well, it's because they are the aggresive soldiers," he said while pointing to the mad trio that I had been with earlier, "and those are the polite soldiers." he said while pointing to himself, a stalkid swinging on a tree and another stalkid just walking around. "I won't be here when you wake up. I'm here only at night, so goodbye!" it said and walked away to join his comrades. I just stared at the two different groups of stalkids and fell asleep soon after.  
  
The next morning, I woke up in a small cottage. Oh my goddesses!! Where am I?! Did someone kidnap me?!! I mean, horsenap me? AHHHHH!!! LINK!! HELP MEEEE!!! Wait... this looks like an innocent cottage... it doesn't look like a kid- err, horsenapper's place. After 10 minutes of looking around the room I was in, a man with a... strange, yeah, that's it, a strange face came into the room with a bowl in his hands.   
  
"Oh, you're awake. C'mere girl."  
  
I studied him a little bit before deciding to come to him. He looks like a nice man... he won't do anything to me... I hope. I hope my instincts are right. I walked cautiously towards him. The old man put the bowl down and introduced himself. Apparently, his name is Dampe and he's a gravekeeper. Why would anyone want to work here? Doesn't he get scared? He must be brave because if he wanted, he could retire, since he looks old enough.   
  
I sniffed the bowl... oooh!! It smells gooooooood!! Mmmmm!! It must be food!! As I was about to take a big bite, my instincts kicked in again. I should take a small bite, just in case he's trying to poison me... wait, where did that thought come from? Stupid author... I took a small bite of what was in the bowl and chewed it carefully, making sure to taste everything and chewing hard enough the make sure that there are no pieces of glass or dangerous items inside. Where did THAT thought come from?! LILFILIPINOGURL, STOP MESSING ME UP!!  
  
"Well, sorry!!", a mock angry female voice boomed from inside my head.  
  
It's s'okay!! Hmm, the food is goooooood!! Yum!!! I started to chow down on the food and Dampe just looked on in wonder.  
  
"I didn't know that such a timid and beautiful creature could eat that fast!" he said, chuckling. Of course I would be hungry! I haven't eaten in over a day!! Hey, I just realized that right now... I'm hungry!! Before I knew it, the food in the bowl is now nothingness. Nothingness... is that even a word? I sighed and pushed the bowl towards Dampe, indicating that I was finished. "What a good girl you are," he said, patting my neck. "I wonder who you belong to." Oh crap, is he gonna keep me?! I hope not!! I need to find Link! "Since I just found you outside there, then that must mean you're wild. I guess I'll let you go." Yes!! I'm gonna go!! Woo hoo!!   
  
Dampe walked outside, motioning for me to follow him. I did so. The sun was shining brightly today... PERFECT FOR TRAVELING!! Yay, more traveling!! I just noticed that I have made many new friends, okay, let me count: Jack the bat, Korana the keaton, Kokohakiwadalamina, which I call Koko for short, the real bombchu, Petua the stalkid and Dampe the gravekeeper. That's about, 5 people in 2 days!! How cooooooool!!!   
  
"Well, I guess you'll be going now. Visit me whenever you get hungry, or when you want some company, okay? Goodbye, wild one."  
  
I nuzzled his chest and galloped off, Dampe waving goodbye behind me. He's a good person. I can't believe that he lives in a graveyard! It must be terrifying at night. Oh well. Now, where do I go? I exited the graveyard and looked up at the man with the glowing red eye. Woooah... just one eye? Termina sure is creeeeeeepy!!! I jumped the fence and all the fences that came after it and met up with Koko again.  
  
"How many minutes do you have left, Koko?" I asked the screeching rat.  
  
"Epona! Hi! Well, I've got... 5 seconds!!"  
  
I galloped away as fast as I could once I heard the word 'seconds'. Then, there was another explosion behind me, and I wasn't as afraid as I was before. I waited 10 seconds, and Koko appeared out of nowhere again. I walked calmly towards him and asked him a question.  
  
"Isn't it hard to live your life exploding every 15 minutes?!" I asked.  
  
"Well, not really. In the first place, it hurts terribly, but only for a split second. When you are revived, the pain dissapears."  
  
"Oh... did you know that you have a weapon named after you?"  
  
"Which part, the Koko part or the bombchu part?"  
  
"The bombchu."  
  
"Really? COOL!!"  
  
Hehe, I knew that he would get excited after hearing that.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Oh wow!! Please don't flame, I got writer's block. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... I have a poll today!!  
  
Poll-  
Where should Epona go next?  
  
1.) TO THE SNOWY PLACE!! THE SNOWY PLAAAACE!! (Where the Gorons go? I dunno, you tell me.)  
2.) DEKU PALACE!! (Epona will find a way to get there)  
3.) PIRATES' COVE!! (Epona will find a way to get there)  
4.) Somewhere else! (say where you want her to go)  
5.) I DON'T FRIGGIN' CARE!! JUST STOP WRITING THIS STUPID STORY!!!! (don't pick this. ^_^;;)  
  
You are all gonna pick #5, huh? PICK 5!! FIIIIIIIIIIIVE!! Nah, don't pick 5. Pick whatever!! Okay, bye bye!!  
  
~LilFilipinoGurl 


	3. My blankie!!!

Disclaimer: *yawn* Nope, Zelda belongs to Shigeru Miyamoto.   
  
The winner of last time's poll is... THE SNOWY PLAACE!!! And just to please all my readers, *coughDekustarcough* Epona will also go to Pirate's Cooove!! Now, wouldn't THAT be interesting? Buuut, she will go there in the next chappy. Sorry, Dekustar (and others too).  
  
Things you need to know:  
1.) This fic will MOSTLY be in Epona's point of view, okay?   
2.) The setting is in Majora's Mask.  
3.) Umm, if you wanna flame, go right ahead. I'll give it to *shudder* Ruto.  
4.) Just because the animals are talking to eachother doesn't mean that the humans can understand. Humans don't understand animal language.  
  
That's getting annoying, huh? ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
"Okay, Koko, me gots to go nows!! Byes!!"  
  
"Bye Eponawona!!"  
  
I happily trotted away from Koko, then another explosion was heard from behind me. Ouch. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I'M IN A FREAKISHLY GOOD MOOD TODAAAY!! LALALALA!!!! I look up at the sky and see that the sun is shining brightly! As I said in the previous chapter, IT'S A PUUUUUURFECT DAY FOR TRAVELING!! Now, one thing... where do I go?  
  
Oh, I know! I'll go to that snowy place over there! I point with my paw. Paw... I mean hoof!! ^_^ I canter canter canter to that place place place and see see see that I wanna wanna wanna lie down on the snow!! It looks so comfy. I lie down and take a short nap.  
  
~*With Link*~  
  
(Link's POV)  
  
"I don't wanna be a scrub!! I don't wanna be a scrub!!" I shouted to the sky.  
  
"What, are you praying to the Goddesses or something?" Tatl asked me.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"All right, don't scream."  
  
"Sorry." Why a scrub?!?! Why not something a little better, like a Zora? Now that I'm caught up in this STUPID Hide-and-go-Seek game with a bunch of "Bombers" I CAN NEVER GET OUT!! ARGH!! I wanna become a human!!   
  
"A HYLIAN!!" I shouted absentmindedly.  
  
"Huh?" said the yellow-white fairy.  
  
I sighed. "Forget it." Stupid 7-year-old game...  
  
~*With Epona*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
When I wake up, I find myself in the same spot! Good, no one horsenapped me. As I get up, I stretch and neigh loudly. I walk up the path and find a lot of ice blocking my way. -_- WHYY?!?!?!   
  
Suddenly, two rock-like things with spikes coming out of their backs speed by me.  
  
"GIVE ME MY TEDDY BEAR!!"  
  
"HAHA!! YOU HAFTA CATCH ME FIRST!!"  
  
The spikes ripped through the ice and smashed it, revealing more of the path for me to follow.  
  
"THANK YOOOOUUUU!!" I shout at the rock-like things' backs.  
  
"TEDDY BEAR!!!"  
  
O_o All right then. So I continued up the path and find a whole lot of snow. The two rocks must have smashed the huge snow balls blocking my way. Thank the Goddesses that one of them stole the others' teddy bear. I continue and continue up the path and see a small brown cottage with a high roof. I walk up to the sign. Dammit, I wish I could read. I knock on the door with my hoof and nobody answers. Ugh, do I have to knock this door down?! I knock the door again, this time louder. And guess what was on the other side of the door...  
  
A metal guy.  
  
"NNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIGH!!!" I neighed. ^_^   
  
"Ugoh? Ugoh ugh!! Ugoh ugh ugoh!!" said the metal suit.  
  
"Shaddap, you stupid deku stick!!" said another man who appeared from behind the metal suit. He was wearing blue arabic clothes... strange... arabic?! This is Termina, not India!! Jee-bus... why does the author like the word "Jee-bus" so much? I dunno, CAUSE IT SOUNDS FUNNY!!! GAAAAAAAAH!! *ahem* Anyway, the other man came up to me and clapped his hands together.  
  
"Ahhh, what a beautiful horsie! Come in, come in." he said, gesturing to me that I should go in.  
  
Ahh what the hell, what is he gonna do? So, I go in the cottage and find a frozen hearth, a couch, a coffee table, a counter and a room behind it... hmm, nice place... well kinda. It's better than the FRIGGIN' COLD!! I sat down near the fireplace, yes, there was a fireplace too... wait, is there? Oh well... LilFilipinoGurl is too lazy to check.  
  
(A/N: ^_^;;;;)  
  
Yeah, so I sit down near the fireplace and cuddle with the blanket there.   
  
"Hey, deku stick!!" shouted the arabic-clothes wearing man. LilFilipinoGurl probably forgot the name that the guy calls him so she'll stick with deku stick.  
  
(A/N: Jee-bus, Epona! Stop mentioning me here!)  
  
There, you see? She said jee-bus!! Jee-bus!! I snicker and cuddle with the blanket more.  
  
"Hey, deku stick!! Get this horse here some coffee!!"  
  
"Ugoh, ugh ugho ugh!!" it replied.  
  
"Shaddap you! Get it if I say so!!"  
  
"Ugh..." the metal suited guy went to get some coffee... for me? I don't drink coffee... ahh well. "So, little one, how did you stumble upon here?" Now, how am I supposed to answer? I'm a freakin' horse! Whatever. I neighed and hesitantly went out of my blanket, pushed the door open and pointed my hoof to the direction of where I came from. "Ahh, very interesting. Do you belong to someone?" I nod. "INteresting... DEKU STICK!! WHERE'S THE STUPID COFFEE?!?!"  
  
Metal suit came back in here with a cup of coffee in his hands. Hey, it's black. Black... black... black... whatever, I'm leaving! I gesture to Zubora, the arabic-wearing man that I'm leaving. He nods and drinks the coffee that was supposed to be mine. I venture out of the door, into the coldness. I remember something and come back in.  
  
"What is it now?"  
  
I walk towards the blanket and toss it over my back. Then I walk back outside.  
  
Brrrr, it's cooooold.... it's a good thing I have this blanket! I continue walking and see a passage with another sign. I really need to learn how to read... I don't really care so I'll go in! I enter it and come up to many bridges and small lands. Okay then! So, I cross the bridge and stumble upon the first piece of land. As I get half through, a wolfos pops out.   
  
I neigh loudly and the blanket fell down to the ground. I stick my ears back and bare my teeth. That's a warning that whoever is near me shouldn't come close, or I'll attack. And I'll tell you, I'm one tough cookie!! Cookies... I have a yearning for cookies!! AHH!! I narrowly dodge a wolfos' humongous (spelling?) claws and counter by kicking his stomach while he's on his hind legs.  
  
"Grrr, you stupid pony!" it growled.  
  
"Oh shut up, and I ain't no pony!" I yelled at the now furious wolfos. "Aren't you supposed to be tougher than me?!"  
  
"Well... I dunno!! I just let you win!!" it growled again, this time, showing off his gigantic teeth.  
  
"HA! I bet I can beat you any day!" I said, showing off by rearing up.  
  
"You wish, you puny excuse for a horse!!"  
  
HOW DARE HIM!!!  
  
"Hey, DOG!! You wanna piece of me?!?! Then you got some!!!"  
  
I neighed loudly again and galloped towards him, teeth bared, ears back and hoofs ready for attacking. I kicked him in his front left leg, but he unfortunatly bit a part of my left hind leg. I stumbled around and dodged his attacks for a while. I lured him to the edge of the small island, and when he attacked with his claws again, I jumped over/behind the wolfos and kicked him with my hind legs, letting the howling creature fall to the ground.  
  
"YOU @#$%&* &@#$%!!! &*@#$!!! I'LL GET YOU SOMEDAY!!!" he shouted.  
  
"YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, @#$%&*@!!! NOW GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, LOSER!!" I yelled, letting him run into the distance.  
  
VICTORY!! VICTORY!! WOO HOO!! I WON IN A FIGHT WITH A WOLFOS!! VICTOOOOOOOOOOOORY!!! I did a little dance, and winced when I felt the pain shoot through my leg. Ouchies!! It hurts... I continue on to the next bridge, and onto another island, except smaller. I look up, and see...   
  
Tingle.  
  
*shudder* Oh hell no, not that wannabe Kokiri again...  
  
"Hello horsie! We meet again, yes?" it shouted while deflating it's ballon. Oh well, might as well deal with the freak. "How are you? Now, let's see if you'll be more cooperative today!" again, the wannabe tried to mount me, but I just stepped back, letting it fall to it's face.   
  
"Oww."  
  
"I'm okay! Don't worry!" it said, standing up and brushing himself off. Umm... did it think that I worried? Why would anyone worry about a gay little freak like him? Stupid wannabe 35 year-old Kokiri... LINK IS THE BEST WANNABE IN DA HOUSE!!! HOMIE!!! *cough* DAMMIT, LILFILIPINOGURL!!  
  
"Sorry! I thought it would be funny if you said that!" said a booming female voice from the inside of my head.  
  
Brains are in my head! So are my eyeballs! Yeah, enough talk about body parts... eww. Where was I?  
  
"The stupid little 35-year-old Kokiri wannabe gay freak retard." said the reader.  
  
Oh yeah!! He is such a stupid little 35-year-old Kokiri wannabe gay freak retard. I snickered to myself and looked in horror as the wannabe was staring at me with some kind of dreamy gaze.  
  
"Ooh, I just realized that you are the most hottest thing I've ever seen..." he said, while continuing to look at me with that stupid dreamy gaze.  
  
Did he just say what I thought he said?!?!? Did he, a WANNABE KOKIRI RETARD, just say that I, EPONA, A REBEL HORSE, is the most hottest thing he's ever seen?!?!  
  
"Kiss me baby!" it shouted.  
  
OH MY GOD.  
  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I RUN!! RUN AWAY FROM THE FREAK!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! OH GOD NASTY NASTY NASTY NASTY!!! EWWWWWWWWNESS!!! I RUN AWAY FROM THAT LOVESICK RETARD!! OH MY GOD, A HUMAN IN LOVE WITH A HORSE??!!? EWWWW!! NASTY!! LINK, SAVE ME!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OH GOD EWW!!   
  
I continue running away... away...  
  
{And I can run! Just as fast as I can!  
To the middle of nowhere! To the middle of my frustrated fears,  
and I swear! You're just like a pill! Instead of making me better!   
You keep making me ill!! You keep making me ill!!}  
  
Now, where did those "Pink" lyrics come from? Hmm, it must be the right moment...   
  
(A/N: Oh yeah, and no, I DON'T OWN PINK OR THOSE LYRICS!!)  
  
Okay then! I continue screaming. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-  
  
~*With Link*~  
  
(Link's POV)  
  
"ARGH!!! I WANNA GO BACK TO HYRULE!!! STUPID SKULLKID!! I'M GONNA GET HIM FOR SURE!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs while Tatl and I walk to the Observatory, or the Astral Observatory, whatever.  
  
"Will you shut up?!" Tatl yelled, making me jump to my feet.  
  
"Stupid skullkid..." I mumbled. "I HATE YOU, TATL!!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I dunno, I just do."  
  
Tatl made a strange face and we reached the stairs. Pleeease bring me home... I wanna go home! Be hylian! Be me!!   
  
BE HUMAN!!!  
  
(No one's point of view)  
  
Link sounds desperate. Back to the storay!  
  
~*With Epona*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
...  
  
Wha? ... What happened... hey... why am I in this.. place... I try to get up, but... ow! Oh, my friggin' head... ooooh it hurts!! What did I do to it? Suddenly, a rock-like thing rolls up to me and gives me a bowl of water.  
  
"Oh, hello creature! I saw you passed out near a tree."  
  
Oh, so that's it! I must have knocked into the tree! Werd... werd? I meant weird. Werd... ehehheh... werd... AHAHA!! AHAHA!! *cough cough* Ooh, it's still cold in here... hey my blanket!! Where is it? MY BLANKIIIEEEE!! And it was my favorite color, red, too... WAAAA!!   
  
Ahh well.  
  
I stand up and stretch, looking around the place. It looks to be some kind of atrium... I guess... suddenly, an awful crying-like sound fills my sensitive ears. I neigh loudly and slink to the floor.  
  
"What's wrong?" said the rock-like thing, which was actually a Goron.   
  
"I don't know!! What's this sound?!?!" I asked out loud, knowing that this Goron probably won't understand me.  
  
"That's just the baby crying. Don't worry, you'll get used to the sound."  
  
Hey, did he just understand me?! Oh well, might as well ask him myself. "Hey, did you just understand what I said?" I asked.  
  
"Yup."  
  
I stand there, wide-eyed. The only things that can understand me are animals and enemies! Weird. "Wait, but *how* can you understand me? I mean, I'm a horse and you're a goron!" "I'm gifted." Well, that explains it... I guess, well I dunno, good enough reason. "What's your name anyway, horsie?" it asked me. "Epona. How about you?" "The name's Gitorma." "Umm, nice to me you!" "Right back 'atcha." I smiled at him and look around the place more.   
  
"Man, this crying thing is annoying! Why aren't you or the other gorons complaining?"  
  
"We are!" he said, pointing to the other gorons who were covering their ears and shaking their heads like maniacs.  
  
"Oh... well, anyway, I'll be going now."  
  
"Are you sure? It's getting dark outside."  
  
"IT IS?!?! How long did I sleep?!"  
  
"I dunno, about 5 hours."  
  
"Wooooow...." I gaze at a wall, FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON!!  
  
"Okay, so aren't you going?"  
  
"Oh yeah! Nice meeting you, Gitorma! I hope that baby stops crying!" I shouted over the cries of the goron child.  
  
"Me too!" it waved at me and I walked outside.  
  
Phew! Finally, the sounds of the crying are gone! Once I step outside, the door behind me closes shut. I might as well look for my blanket... I'M SO FRIGGIN' COLD! I walk around the place where Goron's live... wow, it's all covered with snow... I don't think this is good for them. Oh well... I go up to the entrance of the city and exit. When I go back to the pieces of land, I carefully avoided the wannabe and went to that island where I fought the wolfos. Hey, what's that red thing near the tree? ... MY BLANKET!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hey, Epona found her blanket!! Woo hoo!! Sorry, no poll today since I know what to do in the next chapter. Wow, I can't believe that people actually LIKE this fic! *laughs for no reason* I like to laugh, as you can tell! *laughs again* Yesh, so... wait for the next chapter! And while you're doing that, R+R my fic! Yes?   
  
~LilFilipinoGurl 


	4. I'm SuperHorse!

Disclaimer: I don't own Epona, Zelda or anything related to that.  
  
Sorry I haven't been updating. School's started. And Mr. Writer's Block wouldn't leave me alone. -_- On with the fic!  
  
-----~*~-----  
  
My blanket! Yes! Yes! Wooooo!! I trot happily to my blanket, and fling it over my shoulder. Ooooh, the warmness! I grin like an idiot. Where shall I go next? Lemme see... I went to the Snowy Place, the Dead Place, the Forest Thingy Place, and the Water Place. Actually, I just realized that I didn't do much in the water place thingamajig. Well... I'LL GO THERE NOW!! I start walking out of the Snowy Place and luckily, no Wolfos popped out of the ground, like before.  
  
They all must be scared of me. :)  
  
Hehehehehe. Anyway, I continue walking, and finally get out into Termina Field! Wow... I think this is my 2nd day here in Termina. Oooh, INteresting! Eh, not really. As I walk back to the water place, a green thingy with spikes pops out of the ground. I stare in interest as it nears me.  
  
"Muahahaha!! I will poke you with my spikes!"  
  
"... No." I say; as I step on him, HARD and immediately kill the little green thing.   
  
Green... green... I wonder how Link's doing?  
  
(Link's POV)  
  
"Can I go in?"  
  
"Tell me the password!!"  
  
"... Password?" I ask the little boy who was blocking the way to the observatory. Password? There's a password?  
  
-Flashback-  
  
"All right, we'll tell you the password!" Jim said, as he turned around to reveal a number. All the other bomber kids turned around and revealed their numbers.   
  
"The password is 34152! Don't forget it!" Jim said as he and the others walked away.  
  
-End of Flashback-  
  
"OH YEAH!! The password is 32154!" I said proudly.  
  
The boy stared at me. "That's wrong."  
  
"Stupid Link! The password's 34152, not 32154!" Tatl screeched in my ear.  
  
"OWWW!!" I yelled, and stumbled downstairs as the kid who was blocking the way moved aside. "Weird deku kid..." mumbled the child. He shrugged and went back to guarding the alley.  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
"Now..." I said, as I looked around Great Bay. "... WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!"   
  
"You're here to look around," said LilFilipinoGurl from out of nowhere.  
  
"Okay!" I said. I look around. There's nothing but a small little building thingy out there in the ocean. I sigh.   
  
"Isn't there like a secret here or something?!"  
  
Suddenly, a killer whale rises up from the waters of the ocean. I take a step back, not wanting to face it's wrath. "Hehehe... SCARED of me, little horsie?" it asked. I shook my head no, because I seriously wasn't afraid of him. I was just surprised at a huge whale coming out of the waters of an ocean. "So, what is it do you want of me?" I asked it.   
  
"Let me tell you my name. My name is Keiko."  
  
"WOAH!! Keiko?! Aren't you the whale that played Willy in the killer whale movie thing?" I asked in awe.  
  
"Yeah." it smiled, although you can't see it.   
  
"So... why did you rise up?"  
  
"You asked if there was anything interesting here. And there is. And I wanna show you!!"  
  
"Really?!?!"  
  
"Yeah!!"  
  
"All right!!"  
  
"Cool!!"  
  
"Yaaaay!!"  
  
"Get on my back!!"  
  
"WHA?!"  
  
"You heard me! Get on my back. I'll show you something."  
  
"... Okay then!" I carefully climbed onto his back, being careful not to step on the blowhole. He started forward. "Whoa! Whoa! Not so fast!" I yelled, begging him to slow down before I get thrown off.  
  
"Don't worry, if you get thrown off, I'll get ya back on right away!" I shuddered at the thought of being thrown into those waters. They look murky! And yucky! And not right! Sheesh!!  
  
"Oh yeah, that was a big help." I said sarcastically. The whale smiled and swam to a wall. "Now what?" I asked. "I break this wall down," he said. "No way!! You can't break those rocks!" I argued. "No! I meant those wooden boards underwater! See?" he said, gesturing to four wooden walls underwater that have a skull painted on each one. "Wait... you're gonna bash through all four?!"   
  
"No way, just the one on the left."  
  
"BUT HOW ABOUT ME?! WILL I HAVE TO GO UNDERWATER?!"  
  
"Nah, just wait on that rock over there." he swam to a piece of floating rock. I carefully stepped onto it. "Just wait here." He swam back and busted the wooden wall open. Through it was a passage.  
  
"KEIKO!! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GO UNDERWATER?!"  
  
"Well. You have to if you wanna see what's beyond there."  
  
I gulped. I guess I do wanna see what's over there, because I started screaming Keiko's name and to get him to get me on him and through the underwater passage so I can see what's beyond there! Wow, what a run-on sentence! Oh wait, if I go underwater, my blanket will get wet!!! ... Ah well. I held on to my blanket with my teeth so it won't get away from me when we go underwater. So, again, I climbed on Keiko's back, and he went underwater. I closed my eyes and held my breath. Keiko swam through the passage swiftly and quickly. Soon, we were on the surface again, except we were not in the bay anymore. We were in a Fortress. And my blanket was soaking wet.   
  
"... My blanket is wet. -_-" I said to him.  
  
"Sorry Epona, can't do anything about that. Look around!" he replied. I looked around. Whoa.  
  
"Wow!!! COOL!!! THIS WAS WORTH GETTING WET!!" I shouted, flinging my red blankie on my back. I leapt off Keiko and onto dry land, looking at the gigantic fortress. It reminded me of the Gerudo Fortress. Except this one is on water. There were two boats patrolling the outside of the water, and they had the same exact outfits as the Gerudos did! Man! It's just like everyone here is a clone of someone else in Hyrule!  
  
"Yup!"  
  
"Now what?"  
  
"Buh bye!" Keiko said, diving back underwater. I gasped.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"'  
  
Oh great. What am I gonna do now?! I look around, and see that a guard is paddling towards me in a boat. Uh oh... I back into a wall as she steps off the boat and onto land.  
  
"Hm, what've we got here?" she asked aloud. Then she looked at me closer. "Why does she have a blanket on her back?"  
  
This is my favorite blanket! Got a problem with it? She walked over to me and tied two ends of the blanket tightly together around my neck. It's a good thing that she didn't tie it too close to my throat or I'd be choking! "Heh, you look better like that. Your blanket won't fall off now that it's tied to you." I smiled at her. She seems nice. And I look like a superhero horse!! (Mr. Blankie makes it look like I have a cape! ^_^;;)   
  
The Gerudo spoke again. "This seems like a fine young horse. I'll bring her to Aveil. Although I do not know why we would need a horse if we're in the middle of the ocean."   
  
O_o Ooookay. The guard gestured for me to follow by stepping into the boat again and waving her hand. Oh well, I came here to explore, and explore I shall! So, I stepped onto the boat and off we went through a hidden passage that appeared out of nowhere in the wall. Another run-on sentence! Woo hoo! Eh.   
  
The passage lead us to a canal where there was a looong platform to the left. She stepped off, so I stepped off and everyone on the world stepped off.   
  
Wait, if everyone on the world stepped off, then they would be stepping off the world and fall into the never ending universe which is like a black hole and a never-ending bottom hole thingy because it has no end and it's space and space doesn't have a limit so that means there's more planets other than Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus, Pluto, Uranus, Neptune, Earth and Saturn but I don't know if the Moon is a planet cuz it's a moon and I heard that there's another planet behind Pluto so the scientists called it planet X and maybe Hyrule and Termina is on Planet X cuz it sure ain't on Earth cuz Earth has many continents which planet X probably doesn't have or maybe Termina, Hyrule and the other places Link went to are in a different dimension so that means I'm in a different dimension of where L-Gurl is cuz she's on Earth and Termina isn't on earth so that means if everyone on the world stepped off, they would end up here in Termina where I am and my name is Epona!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
'Jeezus Epona!! You sure can think a lot!!' L-Gurl said. Oh wow, I never noticed that I thought a lot because I'm sure I was talking about planets a moment ago and I believe that-  
  
'OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!' L-Gurl yelled again. Whoops. Sorry. ^_^;;;;;;  
  
By the time I was finished thinking A LOT and L-Gurl finished yelling at me to shut up, I was actually walking through that whole time I was thinking! The guard left me in a huge chamber with chests and fancy carpets and decorations. Hm, must be Aveil's chamber... thing...! A dark-tanned gerudo wearing a pink-ish red gerudo uniform and had long red hair tied up in a high ponytail came walking towards me. She stopped and looked at me from every angle possible while standing up. She raised an eyebrow at the blanket tied around my neck. I'll have to get used to that... I just stood there. Then I sneezed. Stupid dust. This place must be old! Aveil straightened up and smiled. "Hm, very nice horse. She'll grow to be a very healthy mare."  
  
I'm healthy! ^______^  
  
"One thing I have to ask you, Rasha," Aveil asked, looking towards the guard that led me here.  
  
"Yes, ma'am?"  
  
"WHY ON EARTH DO WE NEED A HORSE?!?!?! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN' OCEAN FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!" screamed Aveil. I backed away a few steps.   
  
".... I'm sorry ma'am, I'll get her away as soon as possible!!!" said Rasha in a scared way, waving at me with her hand to follow her. I immediately did so and she led me to the canal with the boat again. Man, Aveil is SCARY when she's mad! Rasha started paddling like crazy through the hidden passage and to a different area of the fortress where there are platforms everywhere, not to mention guards everywhere too. It was shaped like a huge circle, and in the middle was a high tower with bridges leading possibly to other parts of the fortress.   
  
"You can stay here with the other guards. They all love horses. Aveil won't notice. She's always cooped up in her room watching soap operas on her new T.V."  
  
T.V.? Man. Gerudos here are getting advanced with all these tech-y stuff.   
  
She dropped me off and paddled away, probably to the whole area where I met her. She probably must be guarding the outside fortress. I decided to explore... again. Wow, there are a lot of guards... a lot.... there's one... aaand another one.... aaaaaaand another guard! And many platforms too.   
  
I looked up at the huge tower. I wanna go up there... I must find a way! Maybe hopping on those platforms one by one will do the trick! Good thing that my specialty is jumping cuz those platforms look high. Ehehehehe... hiiiiigh.... o_O Ahem, so I jumped on one of the platforms. Hey lookit, a hookshot target! Must be meant for something.... I hopped onto another platform, and another and another and another until I'm at a point where I have to jump a huge gap to get to the other side. Piece of cake. If I could jump the gap of the broken bridge in Gerudo Valley in Hyrule, then this is just TOO easy!   
  
As I prepare to jump, I stop myself. But wait... I jumped the bridge when I was an adult horse.... ah well. I'll use everything I've got! I got prepared to jump the gap and there I go!!  
  
AHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Oh, phew! I made it! With inches to spare. I need to practice jumping more. -_-;; Soooo, anyway, I continue jumping. Again. Aaaand again! FINALLY, I made it to the top! I start walking across the bridge. Yay. So exciting. When I get to the tower, I see the guard smiling at me. Hey, Terminian Gerudos DO like horses! I passed by her and continued walking around. Nothin' much to see here though...  
  
-----~*~-----  
  
Woo hoo! Finished! ^_^ I have a POLL!! *waves happy flags*  
  
Which place should our rebel horse go to next?  
  
1- Shut up  
2- You figure it out  
3- The Zora's place!  
4- Clock Town!  
5- *glares*  
  
Okay, take your pick! *sweatdrops*  
  
~L-Gurl aka LilFilipinoGurl  
  
P.S. - Do you like Epona's new look? You know, with the two ends of the blanket tied around her neck that makes it look like she has a cape? If I imagine it in my mind, it looks cute! ^_^;; 


	5. Clocktown! Yey!

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda and anything related. (Blah, I feel dead right now. o_O)  
  
Hi hi! ^_^ The winner of last time's poll is.... NUMBAH 4!! Clocktown!! *looks at the reviews again* Hey, someone chose number one! *sweatdrop* Hehe...   
  
I've gotten lots of reviews where you guys ask me WHEN Epona will go to the ranch. Man, people! Not yet! I've got that idea reserved for the future. ^_^ And I'm sorry if I update this fic EXTREMELY slowly, I mean, it's just I write this fic either when I'm bored or don't want to continue my other fics. Y'know what I mean? It's not one of those fics which I have to continue on and on....  
  
Okay, enough of my blabber! Read!  
  
-----~*~-----  
  
AAAUUGGH, MY GOSH, SO BORING HERE.   
  
I ish gonna leave!  
  
Soo, I cantered back to the water area after many hours of getting lost in the Gerudo Fortress- ack, I mean the... Water Fortress thingy.... I don't know!  
  
I neighed to Rasha, the Gerudo- er, I mean Terminian who brought me here. Eh, I'll just call them Gerudos. (shrugs) Anyway, Rasha paddled over to me and I hopped on the mini boat.  
  
"Hi horsie!" she said, "where ya goin'?"   
  
I nodded my head toward the entrance.  
  
"You're going already?" I nodded. "Aww. Well, it was nice having you around. It's not usual that a horse appears here in the fortress."  
  
... I can understand that. What horse wouldn't want to go through an underwater passage by riding a whale's back? o_O Rasha paddled to the entrance and I got off.   
  
"Well," she said, patting my neck. "Bye girl. Hope ta see you around here again!" I nuzzled her arm and then she continued patrolling the area.  
  
I stared at the entrance.  
  
... OH MY GOD, how do I go out? I never pondered this! I can't SWIM through that underwater thingy! Ah!! I'm stuck here!!  
  
AHHHHH!!!  
  
AHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
~*With Link & Tatl*~  
  
(Link's POV)  
  
"LIIIINK!!! LIIIINK!!!" Tatl screeched in my ear. I jumped back.  
  
"WHAT THE HECK?!?!" I yelled back.  
  
"We NEED to get to the Astral Observatory! NOW!!"  
  
"Why NOW?!"  
  
"Because I said so! Now move it!"   
  
She started shoving me in the direction of East Clock town. GOD!! I HATE THIS STUPID FAIRY!!! SHE'S SO ANNOYING!!!!! ARGH!!!! NAVI DIDN'T PUSH ME LIKE THIS!! SHE WAS PATIENT AND CARING AND USEFUL AND NICE UNLIKE TATL!!! Okay, she was just a little itsy bitsy annoying after a while, but at least she didn't do what Tatl does!  
  
"Hurry UP, Link! God, you are so friggin' SLOW!! HURRY!! UP!!!" she shouted. I swatted at her hard.  
  
"SHUT THE HECK UP, GODD*****!!!"  
  
"Hey! A small kid like you shouldn't say bad words!"  
  
"I'm not a kid, I'm the Hero of Time!"  
  
"More like the WUSS of Time!"  
  
"-_-... Tatl?"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Screw you."  
  
~*With Epona*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
I started hyperventilating. Ohmygodohmygodoooohmygod.....  
  
Just then, Keiko rose up from the waters. I raised an eyebrow as he gave me a toothy grin.  
  
"I heard your calls of help!" Keiko said.  
  
"Calls for help?" I repeated. "I didn't say anything out loud."  
  
There was an awkward silence.  
  
"... U-um, just go on my back now!"  
  
"Are you psychic?"  
  
"......."  
  
"Oh my god, you are?!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Cool!!"  
  
"Cool? I thought you'd think of me as a freak!"  
  
"No way, psychics are cool." I started doing a dance. "Hey! Lookit me! 'You can gaze into the futuuuure!! You think that life would be a breeeeze! You see trouble from a distance, yeeeah!! But it's not all that it seeems!! That's so Raven! It's the future rock and see! That's so Raven! So mysterious to meee!! That's so-'"  
  
"OKAY, OKAY, SHUT UP!!!" hollered Keiko. I froze.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Please, I hate that song."  
  
"I hate it too."  
  
"... Then why...?"  
  
"Because it's stuck in my head."  
  
A filipino gurl (yep, i spelled it like that for a reason!) was jumping up and down on one of the gaurd's boat. "AUGH!! IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD TOO!!!!" she screamed. Keiko and I sweatdropped.  
  
"Who's that?" he asked.  
  
"The author. The eeeeevil author."  
  
"HOLY CRAP!!!" yelled the gurl as she fell off the boat and plummeted into the waters. "AHHH!! AHHH!!! I CAN'T SWIM!!! MOMMYYYYY!!!" she shrieked. She stopped suddenly, had a grin on her face, and then dissapeared in a flash of violet light.  
  
I spoke up. "... Am I the only one disturbed by that?"  
  
Keiko shook his head. "Nah. But anyway, get on my back so we can go!"  
  
"Oh yeah! Okay!" I said cheerfully, stepping onto the orca's back. He sinked under the waters and quickly came up on the other side of the entrance.  
  
"ACK!!!" I coughed. Then I started coughing more.  
  
"Whoa, you okay?"  
  
"(cough) Ack, Keiko, tell me you're going under(cough)water so I can hold my breath!" I gagged.  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"Eh, s'okay... (cough)"  
  
"Anyway, where to, miss?"  
  
"(cough) To the shore. And stay above the water!"  
  
"Yes ma'am!"  
  
The black and white whale started heading towards the shore in a nice easy pace. I steadily kept my balance as a few sprinkles of water collided into my face. It felt nice!  
  
Soon enough, we arrived. I stepped off him, making sure my blankie was still on my back. It still was. ^_^  
  
"Thanks a lot, Keiko!" I said cheerfully. He nodded and smiled.  
  
"No problem! I'll be here if ya need me!" he said, and then went back underwater.  
  
That's so cool. I have a new psychic friend! ^_________^ I then started cantering out of Great Bay, since it's probably the most boring place in Termina.  
  
Now I'm in Termina Field. Hmm, where oh where should I go next? Hrrm.... I went to the grassy/swamp place... I went to the snowy place... I went to the rock place... and I just got back from the water place.... I began walking forward absentmindedly while still thinking of where to go next.  
  
.....  
  
Where should I go?!?!  
  
Suddenly, I had a strange urge to look up. So I did. And I saw a clock tower. Huh? Why's a clock tower here? Oh!! Wait!! That means there's a town nearby!! Maybe I should enter that place.... surrounded by some kind of wall... uh... yeah...  
  
Okay! I shall enter it! I hope it's a town...  
  
So, I cantered happily inside the entrance to the town surrounded by a circular wall. Blah.  
  
::In Clocktown...::  
  
"Hiya, cute wittle horsie!" said the gaurd as I entered the town. He patted me on the head. And I bit him on the finger.  
  
"AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! OWWW!! OWWWW!!! THE PAIN I AM EXPERIENCING!!! OH GOD, OWWW!!!!" he yelled. o_O Riiight... anyway, I just walked right past him and saw a dog running around. I went up to it.  
  
"Hi! My name's Epona! What's yours?"  
  
The dog grinned at me. "Richard! Nice cape!"  
  
I looked over my shoulder, saw my blanket tied around my neck and grinned. "Why thank you! Nice to meet ya, Richard! Um, what is this place anyway?"  
  
"Clocktown. This is the south part of clocktown!"  
  
"Oooooh. Thank ye!"  
  
"No problem! You're new right?" I nodded. "Okay, then if you need any directions or anything, don't hesitate to ask me!"  
  
"Thank ye again!" I replied. Richard sure is nice. "Wait, but how do I navigate through this town?"  
  
"Here, follow me." Richard led me to a corner and pushed a piece of paper towards me. "This is a map of the town. Can you read?"  
  
"Not really..."  
  
"Um, well, I don't think you'll have problems navigating around here. It's a simple town, really."  
  
"Thanks so much!"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
::A few minutes later::  
  
Hmm... where am I now? I set down the map with my teeth and stare at the blinking icon. So... that means I'm in East Clocktown, right? Hey! This is an awesome map! It has a blinky thingie! Cool!  
  
I walk right past a small boy gaurding a passage downstairs. Then I turn left and go up the slanting floor which leads me to a dead end. Eh? Dang it! I'm gonna get lost here...  
  
So, I return back and head into another part of town. Oookaay... I look at the map.  
  
"North Clocktown...?" I murmured to myself. Ah well. Like, whatever! Hee hee!! ... o_O;; Did I just do that?  
  
Suddenly, the next thing I saw made my heart stop. Almost.  
  
... Tingle...  
  
That stupid little 35-year-old Kokiri wannabe gay freak retard!! What the heck?! Why is he here? Does he follow me around everywhere I go?! Dang stalker!!  
  
Just then, his gaze fixed on me. "It's... her again..."  
  
Oh. Shiz.  
  
"MY LOOOOOOOOOVE!!!" he cried dramatically, running towards me in full speed.   
  
... Wait...  
  
OHMYGOD!! OH MY GOD!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
I neighed loudly, turned around and bolted out of North Clocktown. I turned right and galloped down the stairs. Galloping right through East clocktown, I entered South Clocktown and hid behind a guard.   
  
In a few minutes, Tingle appeared, breathing heavily. "My love! Where art thou?! You're playin' hard ta get, eh? Well, I LOVE YOU FOR THAT!!!" he yelled. The people in South Clocktown stared at him and inched away. I tried my best to stay behind the guard. Goddesses, what a FREAK that guy is!!!   
  
I HATE YOU, LILFILIPINOGURL!!!  
  
"No you don't." said a voice in my head. Well, right now I do!!! "I can see why. ^_^ But hey, it's funny!"  
  
"FUNNY" MY ASS!!! A FRIGGIN' HUMAN IS IN LOVE WITH ME?! WHAT THE HECK?! AND OF ALL HUMANS, IT'S THAT FREAK!!   
  
"Temper, Epona." L-Gurl said calmly. Oh fine. But I'm only putting up with this for the reader's sake. NOT YOURS!!  
  
"I can understand that."  
  
How can you be so calm?!  
  
"Because I control everything there. Like for example. Now."  
  
Tingle spotted me hiding behind the gaurd. Shiz!! I still hate you, L-Gurl!!!!  
  
"^_^"  
  
Tingle's eyes turned into anime hearts. "OH HORSIE, KISS ME AND WE'LL GET MARRIED!!"  
  
I almost threw up at the thought of that. Oooh, that sick weirdo!! I have to get rid of him now or he won't leave me alone ever again!!   
  
I galloped up to him and he grinned. "You finally admit your feelings too, huh? Well, kiss me!" the residents of Clocktown were deeply freaked out.  
  
Kiss you? KISS YOU?! You think that I went up here to KISS YOU?! OH GOD, NO!!!   
  
I turned around and kicked him right in the face. He fell over, unconscious. HAH!!! I LAUGH AT THEE!!  
  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Then I trot happily away.  
  
~*With Link & Tatl*~  
  
(Link's POV)  
  
"What the heck is up with that stupid bell?!" I screamed.  
  
"I use it to get your attention, stupid!!"  
  
"Use your voice! That's what the Goddesses gave you, right?! Make good use of it!" Like Navi did! Even Navi's "Hey! Look! Listen! Watch out!" weren't that bad compared to Tatl's bell. Oh, my Hylian ears!!  
  
"(DING DING DING DING!!) Link! Hey!! I'm talking to yoo, foo'!"  
  
"Whaat?!"  
  
"Uh... I forgot!"  
  
"GAH!!"  
  
~*With Epona*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
This town is so freaky... sheesh. Anyway, I spit at Tingle's unconscious face, and then trotted away. "Now, where do I go..." I said, looking around. Suddenly, I spotted a Deku Kid walking around the town. And he's wearing Link's clothing!   
  
Oh my gosh, is that Link?!  
  
No... no way, it can't be... Link is Hylian. This kid's a Deku. Hmm... I decided to follow him and see what he was up to.  
  
I suddenly noticed a yellow fairy following him, bonking him on the head from time to time. o_O Sheesh, she sure is abusive!  
  
"Leave me alone!!" the Deku Kid screeched to the fairy.  
  
"I am NOT leaving until YOU find my BROTHER!!" she screamed back, bonking him again.  
  
I can plainly see that they don't like each other.  
  
-----~*~-----  
  
XD!!  
That was fun! XD  
Clocktown will be continued in the next chapter also.  
^_^  
  
~L-Gurl 


	6. Speech problem!

Disclaimer: Lookie at chapter 1 pwease!  
  
Woo woo! New chappy! *does a jig*  
This fic will forever be in hiatus. ^_^ Well, I DO continue this fic only when I'm bored, remember? ^___^;;  
  
-----~*~-----  
  
I trotted slowly behind a wall and peered at the Deku Kid and the yellow fairy.  
  
"STUPID DEKU!!! HURRY UP!!"  
  
"SHUTTUP!!!"  
  
Gosh, I wonder who they can be? Ah well, I'll just leave them be. Sooo, I turned around and trotted to West Clocktown.  
  
-  
  
:: West Clocktown ::  
  
-  
  
As I entered this part of town, this kid with a blue cap on backwards comes walking up to me.  
  
"Woah, man! It's like... it's like a horse!"  
  
'It's like?' Whaddya mean, 'It's like?' I *am* a horse!!  
  
"Hey! Wanna meet the Great Fairy?"  
  
Great Fairy? Whuzzat? Oh well, whatever. I nodded my head at him and shoved him to lead me to this, "Great Fairy". He grinned and hopped on me.  
  
"Lemme ride you first!!"  
  
GAH!! I almost tumbled over at the sudden weight on my back. Ack! Jeez! It's been a while since someone rode me! My back!! It's breaking!!! It's breeaakkiiinnnnnggggg!!!!  
  
Actually... it isn't breaking.  
  
"So I'll just lead you while on your back, okay, horsie? If I give you a nudge on one of your sides with my foot, then go that way. If I nudge both sides at the same time, go forward and keep going straight. If I pat your neck, on either sides, then I want you to stop." the boy leaned over and looked at me. "Didja get it?"  
  
What strange commands... Link does it differently! But the nudge on either side of my sides is the same... the nudge to both sides are the same... but the stop is weird. Has anyone heard of someone patting a horse on the neck to stop? Link would.... Link would just say 'stop', to tell the truth. o_O;;  
  
I MISS LIIINK!!!!  
  
~*With Link and Tatl*~  
  
(Link's POV)  
  
"I swear I saw a horse! I swear!" I screamed as I looked behind a corner. I know I just saw Epona! She was just standing here! My horsiieee!!!  
  
"You must be BLIND, Link." Tatl spat.  
  
"SHUTTUP, TATL!! But I swear I saw Epona!"  
  
"I bet you were hallucinating."  
  
"I wasn't hallucinating!"  
  
"Yeah you were!"  
  
"No I wasn't!"  
  
Tatl flew in front of my face. "Yeah!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
I glared at her. "SHUTTUP!"  
  
"No, you shuttup!"  
  
"You!"  
  
"YOU!!"  
  
"YOOOUUU!!!"  
  
~*With Epona*~  
  
(Epona's POV)  
  
"Horsie!! Didja get that?!"  
  
Oh! I looked over at the kid and nodded.   
  
"Good! By the way, my name is Fred! I'm part of a group here called the Bombers! We save this town from crime and do good stuff!"  
  
...  
  
AAAHAHAHAHAHAA!! OH GOD! THAT WAS FUNNY!! MWAAHAHAHAAA!!  
  
Fred nudged both my sides with the heel of his sneaker. So, I went forward. Soon, we came up to this passageway to my left and Fred nudged my left side. I turned left and trotted down a few stairs. Fred nudged to the left again, I went to the left. He nudged to the left AGAIN, I went left AGAIN, but this time to a new part of town.   
  
North Clocktown.  
  
Okey, so this isn't exactly new. I saw that stupid little 35-year-old Kokiri wannabe gay freak retard here. Fred guided me up a dirt ramp and we stopped at this big hole in the wall.  
  
Fred dismounted me. "Here we are! Thankies for letting me ride ya, horsie!"  
  
I wish I could tell him to stop calling me horsie. MY NAME IS EPONA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!  
  
"Okay! Here are some carrots!!!" Fred threw some carrots on the ground and skipped away happily, blubbering about Teletubbies and a cup o' tea.  
  
Teletubbies... (shudder)  
  
Soooooooooooooo!!! Now, where art I at? I looked up.   
  
It's a hole.  
  
A big hole.  
  
On the wall.  
  
... I cantered in!  
  
-  
  
::Great Fairy's Fountain ::  
  
-  
  
"Hello?" I called out as I entered the hole in the wall. As I walked deeper into the "cave" as I'd like to call it, I saw a pretty lil' fountain in front of me. Crystal clear water rested in a small pool in the center of the fountain. Small statues of cherubs rested on the tops of tiny pillars supporting the ceiling above it.   
  
I looked around. "Heellooo? Anybody in here?"  
  
I suddenly realized that I had no water or food in a long time, and stared at the water. 'Would it be okay... would it be okay if I drink some of it?' I thought.  
  
"OH WEELL!" I yelled as I walked up to the pool of water and craned my neck down.  
  
Suddenly, this BIG HUGE UGLY FAIRY WITH BARELY ANY CLOTHING ROSE FROM THE FOUNTAIN!!! AAAAHHHHH!!! OH GOD, MY EEEEYYYEESSS!!!!  
  
"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" laughed the fairy. She took on a human form and had a sort of... plant/leopard outfit that showed way too much cleavage!   
  
I turned away. "OH GOD, PUT ON SOME CLOTHES FOR FARORE'S SAKE!!" I screamed.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"YOU LOOK LIKE A HOOKER!"  
  
She gasped and pointed a finger at herself. "Me? A hooker? An innocent, powerful, magical fairy like me?"  
  
"With those clothes, yes!!"  
  
"Oh, and not to mention I'm beautiful!"  
  
I glanced behind me and at her face.  
  
It. Was. Hideous.  
  
I turned away again. "Beautiful?! BEAUTIFUL?!"  
  
"ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?!?!"  
  
"Well, um, no!" I said, thinking what Fred had said. It was a Great Fairy, so she could probably put a spell on me or a curse, or something!  
  
Oh! Hey! Fred had said! Fred had said! I began saying it outloud while dancing around.  
  
"Fred had said! Fred had said! Fred had said! Fred had said! Fred had said! Fred had said! Fred had said! Fred had said!!"  
  
"SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH!!!" boomed the Great Fairy, in a husky, mAnLy voice!  
  
AAHHHHHh!!!! SHE SPOKE WITH A MAN'S VOICEE!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIEEEEE!!!  
  
"I can hear your thoughts, Epona!!" she shouted.  
  
"What?! How?!"  
  
"IMMA GREAT FAIRY FOR THE LOVE OF BOB!!"  
  
"You love Bob?"  
  
"GAH! GET OUT!! GET OUUUUTTT!!!"  
  
"EEEEK!!"   
  
I wasted no time and bolted out of the Great Fairy's Den, screaming my head off.  
  
She stared at my retreating figure and pulled out a tape recorder. She pressed the record button. "Memo to myself: Put a sign in front of the cave that says, "No insane horses allowed.' "  
  
-  
  
:: North Clocktown ::  
  
-  
  
Jeeeesh, that fairy lady was creepy! She didn't give me any time to talk or anything! I walked randomly through the town for a few minutes.  
  
And also, she was sort of nekkid! What kind of fairy is NEKKID?! And for the love of God, she isn't setting a good example to small kids like that Fred dude! And the Bombers group thingy!  
  
I looked to the sky. It was turning a warm orange-red to a dark blue-black. Wow, it's almost night?  
  
Suddenly, the ground from beneath me began to shake madly. Waaah! What's happening?   
  
I know! I'll go to Richard!  
  
-  
  
:: East Clocktown ::  
  
-  
  
As I galloped past East Clocktown to South Clocktown, I stopped by a motel/hotel/inn thingy. I looked up at the sign.  
  
GOSH DARN IT, I CAN'T READ!!!  
  
I looked around for anyone, ANYONE, who can understand me and can tell the time. I spotted a beetle crawling by.  
  
"o_O;; Um, hey! You! You beetle thingy!"  
  
The small bug looked up at me. "Who? Me?" It asked in a squeaky voice.  
  
"Yep! What time is it?"  
  
The beetle pulled out a huge watch that was twice the size of him. "It's 7:15pm, miss horsie!"  
  
"Okay, thank you! By the way, my name is Epona! What's yours?"  
  
"Me? My name is... actually... I don't have a name."  
  
... WHA? I fell over. "Whaddya mean, 'you don't have a name'?! All things have to have a name!"  
  
"Well, I don't!"  
  
"... I'll make one up for you anyway." I looked around. Hmm, what could I name him...? I suddenly spotted the shooting place thingy where you shoot things with arrows.  
  
Link is pretty good with a bow.  
  
Hmm... Oh! I know! Archer! Yeah!  
  
"Okay little beetle dude, I'll call you Arch! Yeah! Arch! Nice name for ya, dontcha think?"  
  
He looked up at me with a confused look. "Arch? What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"It's not supposed to mean anything! It's a NAME!"  
  
"... Ooooaaahhh!! Okay! My name is Arch then!"  
  
"Nice meetin' ya, Arch!" I grinned, then laughed.  
  
The bug laughed too. "Well, I gotta get going. See ya later, Epona!"  
  
"All righty! By Arch! Thanks for telling me the time!"  
  
Woo hoo! I gots a new friend! I danced around in that area for a while.  
  
-  
  
:: South Clocktown ::  
  
-  
  
"Richard!! Richard!" I yelled as I cantered towards the small white dog. "Richard! Richard!" He still didn't hear. "FOR THE LOVE OF FARORE!!! RICHAAAARD!!!"  
  
The dog jumped at my screaming at looked around. "WHAT!! WHAT?? I HEARD ME NAME!!"  
  
"Heya, Richard! I was the one that screamed yer name!"  
  
He turned around and saw me. "Helloo, Epoona! Soo nice too see yoo!"  
  
I looked at him. "Why are you speaking like that? Y'know, adding the extra "o" vowel sound to every word that has an "o" to it, making it sound like "oooo" instead of "oh"? Why are you pronouncing my name like 'E-poo-na?'"  
  
"Epoona!"  
  
"Epoona?"  
  
"Epoona!"  
  
"Epoona?"  
  
"Epoona!"  
  
"DON'T INSULT MY POO!!"  
  
Richard fell over. "Epoona, soomething happened!"  
  
"Does that something have to do with you speaking like that?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
I blinked several times. "... Are you Irish?"  
  
"That came oot oof absoolutely noowhere, didn't it?"  
  
"Yessir. Answer da question, yo!"  
  
"Yes! I am an Irish! Do ya have a problem with that, lassie?"  
  
... Lassie? o_O;; I guess that's an Irish word thingy that refers to a girl. Or something. I DON'T KNOW! I'M NOT IRISH-IAN!! I'M A PURE-BLOOD HYLIAN THOROUGHBRED!! ... Does that even exist?  
  
"I dunno!" said the author.  
  
o.O Right. I looked at the white dog. "No problem, sir Richard! Now tell me about your "prooblem"."  
  
"DOON'T MAKE FUN OOF ME!!"  
  
"Hehehe! Okay!"  
  
Richard ahemed. "Now, foolloow me, lass." He led me to the small corner in South Clocktown where he gave me the map. It was near a small pool of shallow water, and there was a huge blanket laid out there in the corner. On the blanket was a radio, a food bowl, a bag of dog food, a candle with a holder, and a pack of matches.  
  
"Here here, make yoorself coomfy, Epoona." Richard said.  
  
The white dog grabbed the matches and lit one, lighting up the candle. I tilted my head.  
  
"How can you do that? Don't you have... paws?"  
  
"I'm a special poop!"  
  
I fell over laughing. "YOU'RE A POOP!!"  
  
"Noo! I meant POOP!"  
  
"BWAHAHA!!!"  
  
"POOOP!!"  
  
".... Oh! You mean "pup", don't you?"  
  
"YES! POOP!!"  
  
I rolled on my back laughing.  
  
"SHOOT UP!!"  
  
"Shut up?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Sorry! Sorry!" I regained my composure and sat/lay comfortably on the blanket. Richard sat in front of me and ahemed.   
  
"Let me begin my stoory.  
  
"After yoo left, Epoona, I was just walking aroond, minding me oown business, until this little whippersnapper with purple hair went too me!"  
  
"I'm sorry for intruding," I said, "But did you just say whippersnapper?"  
  
"Why, yes I did! Is there soomething wroong?"  
  
I snickered. "Hehe, nothing! Keep going!"  
  
"AHEM! Soo, befoore I was ROODELY interoopted, this kid with purple hair, baggy cloothes, and a keatoon mask, was walking in froont of me, blabbering soome things little kids with purple hair blabber aboot!  
  
"He suddenly went oop too me and said, 'This is all soo unfair! I want too be an adult again! I shall take it oot oon yoo!! And he whacked me!"  
  
I gasped. "ANIMAL ABOOSE!! I mean, ABUSE!!"  
  
Richard glared at me. "Stoop making fun oof mee!!"  
  
"Hehhe, sowwy! Continue."  
  
"Soo, he whacked me right oon me jaw!" Richard pointed a paw at his jaw and started rubbing it. "And it still hurts too! Stoopid purple hair kid! Boot noow I can't doo anything aboot it! My speech is gooing too be like this foorever!!"  
  
"That's okay, Richard! Maybe we can fix it!" I said reassuringly, patting him on his back.  
  
"And hoow?"  
  
"Okay, repeat after me! Say... puppy!"  
  
"Poopy!!"  
  
I fell over laughing. "No! Look at how my lips move! Puppy!"  
  
"... Oouuhh... Poopy!!"  
  
"... Let me try saying it slower. Puuuuuuuppyyyyy."  
  
"Poooooopyyyyyyy!"  
  
"Puhpee!"  
  
"Poopy!"  
  
"Puh!!"  
  
"Poo!"  
  
"Pee!"  
  
"Py!"  
  
"GAAAHH!"  
  
"GOOHHH!!"  
  
I sweatdropped and slapped my forehead. Richard did the same. O.o;; Man, this is gonna take some time...  
  
... OH NO!! I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING! IT'S MY 3RD AND FINAL NIGHT IN TERMINA!! HOLY CRAP!!!  
  
-----~*~-----  
  
Mua ha! Semi-cliffhanger!! Actually, this isn't a cliffhanger at all! ._.; Ehehe... so anyway, I typed this whole chapter in one go! How rare!! O____o;; Yeah, I realized that Epona didn't think too much in this chapter. Just lots of dialogue. That's okay, right? ^_^  
  
R+R!  
  
~L-Gurl 


End file.
